embrace

Inspired by a few people this year, I decided to select a word to guide my 2012.  A few months ago, I wrote a medical memoir essay, while enrolled in a memori writing online course.  I wrote about my experiences with late stage breast cancer and how I got married at exactly the same time.  I talked about my swirling two worlds that sort of co-exist, overlap at times, and make me feel like I am in a surreal dream other times.  I think the main point of my essay is that since the crisis of my diagnosis, now a bit over 3 years ago, I am in a different stage.  I am not cancer, I live with it and try to find pleasure in the moments of my life even if at the same time, I feel awful from cancer drugs.  I think the word 'embrace' is my perfect word for 2012.  I want to embrace my life, my husband, family, friends, work, my dog,  my brain for letting me work despite 'chemo brain' (most of the time), my feet for taking me places every day, garden, hobbies, my nurses, flowers, vegtables (cancer fighting ones of course), books, blankets, hot chocolate, snow, and what is to come, moment by moment.  I want to embrace my two swirling worlds together and enjoy all of it.   Today, I embrace the opportunity to stay in sweatpants and be on the couch for almost the entire day, and for my husband being in the kitchen!  I am trying to embrace the fact that it is Sunday evening and an extremely busy week is about to unfold, starting with 8am bloodwork! So glad I have this word...

I want to make a banner soon, to hang up in my room, so it can welcome me each morning as I rise.