life is dynamic...

embrace

2012-01-22T17:03:00.001-05:00

Inspired by a few people this year, I decided to select a word to guide my 2012. A few months ago, I wrote a medical memoir essay, while enrolled in a memori writing online course. I wrote about my experiences with late stage breast cancer and how I got married at exactly the same time. I talked about my swirling two worlds that sort of co-exist, overlap at times, and make me feel like I am in a surreal dream other times. I think the main point of my essay is that since the crisis of my diagnosis, now a bit over 3 years ago, I am in a different stage. I am not cancer, I live with it and try to find pleasure in the moments of my life even if at the same time, I feel awful from cancer drugs. I think the word 'embrace' is my perfect word for 2012. I want to embrace my life, my husband, family, friends, work, my dog, my brain for letting me work despite 'chemo brain' (most of the time), my feet for taking me places every day, garden, hobbies, my nurses, flowers, vegtables (cancer fighting ones of course), books, blankets, hot chocolate, snow, and what is to come, moment by moment. I want to embrace my two swirling worlds together and enjoy all of it. Today, I embrace the opportunity to stay in sweatpants and be on the couch for almost the entire day, and for my husband being in the kitchen! I am trying to embrace the fact that it is Sunday evening and an extremely busy week is about to unfold, starting with 8am bloodwork! So glad I have this word...

I want to make a banner soon, to hang up in my room, so it can welcome me each morning as I rise.

winter recipe

2012-01-19T07:50:00.000-05:00

I just made this delicious wintery recipe, Roasted Winter Squash Salad the other night. It is the perfect recipe of winter veggies, a little beer for flavor, and leftovers are just as good the next day! When I decided to make this recipe, I was mostly excited because it had currants in the recipe. I realized that currants are a staple in my pantry. I love them! I used butternut squash and I did substitute scallions for the red onion (i don't like raw red oninons) and roasted pepitas instead of walnuts. Mike hates celery so he was watching in fear as I was mixing this salad. I told him not to worry and he ate it faster than I did so, it was a hit despite the little green pieces of celery!

the first house

2012-01-18T08:56:00.001-05:00

Before my conference presentation, I started to feel my fatigue and feared that my 'chemo brain' was coming out to block my memory and mess with me as I presented my research. So, I went for a brisk walk in sunny but freezing DC. I walked about 5 blocks and found myself in front of The white house. You know, I have been to DC so many times, but I don't think I ever stood right in front of the white house. It was a strange feeling that I can't quite explain...(wishes, hope, excitement, history, suspicion, fear and more?). It was kind of funny too, there were a bunch of kids playing street hockey just outside the iron gate of the white house. I did not get any spottings of the First Family though. Next time!

writing from dc

2012-01-14T08:18:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am in DC again. I totally don't mind that I was here just two months ago! I am hear to present research at a social work conference. I present later today. When I arrived here on Thursday, I managed to sneak away for a few hours because I knew once the conference started, I would be stuck in the hotel for 12 hour days. I found out that my favorite museum, the National Gallery of Art, is a mile away so I set off on a walk straight there. Well, I made a stop when I saw a sign for authentic gelato. I mean, I had to stop. They had traditional flavors but they also had cardamom gelato and black tea gelato. So I had both! Best gelato I have ever had since Italy! Once I got to the museum, I saw a fabulous exhibit of an American photographer Harry Callahan, and his work in the 40s and 50s. I also saw Degas, some 16th century Dutch painters, and the sparkly light installation (again)!

OK, back to studying my presentation...

National Gallery of Art

{this moment} - my birthday date

2012-01-06T11:11:00.000-05:00

Inspire by SouleMama - the friday routine:

A single photo to capture the moment, a simple, special moment to savor:

hello 2012

2012-01-02T11:44:00.001-05:00

Mike and I rang in the new year quietly at home. We made a simple, delicious breakfast on new years day and visited some family and friends. My friend Jessie and I have been writing new year goals since college...many many years ago. Today is my last day of vacation...I can't believe a week and a half has gone by and I am going to be thrown back into work madness. When I left for vacation before Christmas, I was coordinating 2 research grants instead of 1, and when I get into my office tomororw, another research grant will be added to make 3! Yikes...I thought I would try to sit today and think about my goals for 2012. I know that inevitably, some of my goals will be to get back to some of my good habits that I let lapse recently - yoga, reading, less internet, full glass of water as soon as i wake up, etc. I know I have to add phsyical exercise to my list (which is always difficult, between painful feet from my cancer drugs and fighting fatigue about 98% of the time). When I woke up today, I decided that I will give myself more time to think and take myself to a movie (I do just love a solo movie date, it is such a treat!) I do want to really think about some goals and I also want to set a guiding word for my 2012, a special little ritual inspired by Hannah. I have been thinking about words for a week or so and I think I am going to go with 'embrace.' More on that soon...

I am very excited for 2012.

I had a few sips!

New year simple breakfast at home in our sunlight kitchen

my first cup of 2012 tea....ahhh

happy new year!

2011-12-31T16:46:00.000-05:00

well, in some ways, 2011 went by in a flash. to close it all up this year, we had a wonderful, non-stop celebration for christmas in RI and mike and i are about to have an appetizer party for two, to ring in the new year. i'm at the end of a cold and didn't want to push it so we are staying in our cozy home tonight and making: dumplings, quinoa gryere cakes, roasted chickpeas, and kale chips. i may cheat and have a sip of bubbly (two sips, fine)!

2011 brought a lot of joy, a few new babies to our friends, a bit of vacation traveling (DC, DR, Cape Cod), and some serious cancer butt-kicking action. i will be making black eyed peas tomorrow, in hopes for some 2012 luck!

Happy New Year!

this outfit is a long story!

someone getting the hang of opening presents

someone really loving presents

i ate Way too many of these!

stocking time for the barkers

cutie cheeks!

and more presents!

dad enjoying the wild joyous sound of happy kids!

{this moment} with my new fancy bundt pan!

2011-12-30T15:57:00.002-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

happy holidays!

2011-12-23T12:35:00.002-05:00

see you in 2012!!

joy and cheer

2011-12-21T07:45:00.001-05:00

I am feeling very festive this week. I just recevied good scan news and now I am ready to celebrate! I have been doing a lot of shopping and making and wrapping and sewing. I have been thinking of goals for the new year. Mike found the best tree ever and our little home is all lit up. I am hoping to do a little baking this week too. Can't wait to spend some time with the family in just a few days!

Merry Winter!

best tree ever

Homemade salt scrub for friends at work

Donna's holiday cheese art

merry winter card making with jessie

{this moment}

2011-12-16T07:35:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

growing

2011-12-12T22:37:00.002-05:00

I do love being an aunt. Literally a few hours after posting the adorable, brief video of my two littlest nephews from a year ago, I was 'facetiming' on my iphone with both of my nephews, playing together. Technology is bizarre! Here is a screen shot of our video chatting session! Look how big they are now!! Kisses!

2011-12-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

I usually participate in the Friday ritual of {this moment} but I literally did not take one photo this week...It has been one of those weeks...Instead, I decided to look back at last year in my photo files. My sister-in-law started blog posts called "flashbacks" to see what was happening about a year ago. So I found a few photos of our pretty tree from just about last year, this week. Then I found this short video of my two littlest nephews (3 days apart). Look at these two little bald giggly babies!! They were just barely sitting on their own! Now, these two are running, talking, and being wild!!

tis the season already

2011-12-02T14:24:00.001-05:00

Thanksgiving flew by. I guess I have been stuck in the mode of enjoying the moment instead of documenting and posting here...which is fun too. But I have been slacking with the camera these days. We went to Mike's mom's house for turkey day and had a wonderful visit with the family. The power went out for an hour thanksgiving morning, which livened up the party a bit. We ate a ton of food and pie. We fulfilled one of the thankgsiving day traditions and went bowling that night. (I think I need some bowling lessons...) We went to see the Muppets! Then I got to spend some holiday crafting time with Jessie, making holiday cards and homemade moisturizer.

And all of a sudden, it is December, I really want a christmas tree, and I have a massive amount of holiday things to do!! Mike and I started the season by making a home brew of spirited eggnog which will age for 3 weeks and be ready for Christmas eve. We have a lot and it is really strong so be ready for some good spirits!

THREE years babe.

2011-11-22T07:20:00.001-05:00

I really can't believe it is our third wedding anniversary! I love the photos I posted for our 2nd anniversary. This year, Mike found us a lovely, romantic spot to celebrate. He was trying to save it as a surprise but couldn't hold on very long. We celebrated a few days early since we will be traveling today for the holiday. We went to this authentic mexican restuarant (a little theme we have going) up on a hill that is literally right across from the Empire State Building, on the water. We went really early, so we could get a window seat and see the view in the light first. As we sat through dinner, it slowly turned dark outside, and we watched Manhattan turn on all of its lights and start glowing in the night. The view was fabulous. We ordered guacamole first. A waiter came over to our table with a tray holding: choppoed chiles, limes, salt, pepper, avacadoes, and a big mortar and pestle, and made the guacamole right in front of us. It was the best guacamole I have ever had. Then we ate yummy authentic Mexican meals and shared delicious flan at the end. We walked around a bit, looking at the Manhattan skyline, all glittering with lights. It was a lovely evening, celebrating three years of marriage.

Thanks Mike, for being the absolute best partner ever. We may have been handed a huge challenge, but we are making it happen every day. Happy Three YearS!

pumpkins and squash, some treasures

2011-11-19T10:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I can't believe it, but winter is just around the corner. The autumn season flew by faster than summer, it seems. A whole lot of fall fun and love to be thankful for...

A few fall treasures:

making butterut squash pear bisque from this cookbook on many nights after a long day at work. i used a butternut squash trick from here. Instead of spending all of that time peeling the squash, you just cut it in half, bake it cut side down on a cookie sheet for 40 or so minutes at 375. While it bakes, you can get the rest of the soup together. Scoop out the soft squash after it cools right into your soup and blend away!
Mock Thanksgiving - some what of a tradition at donna's house. she hosts a few weeks before the real day. It is festive and fun to visit with everyone and we get to eat thanksgiving dinner twice this month!! Oh and there is a christmas cracker moment - which involves a paper crown wearing contest. I did not win this year.

acorn squash seeds - roasted with salt and paprika - YUM
sewing and knitting on these chilly evenings as it gets dark earlier and earlier
this amazing tree - i used to look at it from my home office when we lived across the street. now i can see it from my bedroom window! the yellows and reds have been making my commute to work so much more enjoyable than usual.

The many visits to my farmers' market this fall; getting so much that I could barely carry it all back to my car!
Some lovely nephew time, playing in the sunny, fall leaves
Pumpkin cranberry muffins using this recipe (substituted 1/4 brown sugar + 1/4 maple syrup for the honey - so less sugar overall and added cranberries from the farmers market and skipped the walnuts!)
Milk Oolong tea that Mike bought me from a fancy tea place in DC

Getting ready and excited for visiting for thanksgiving and then for christmas!

{this moment}

2011-11-18T17:30:00.001-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

(photo taken by my bro - don't want him to get mad for not crediting him!)

DC

2011-11-08T21:35:00.000-05:00

I had a meeting in DC this week, so Mike and I drove down early and explored. We went to the Newseum, drove by the 'Watergate' Hotel and gazed at the Potomac River with colorful trees behind it. We went to the National Gallery of Art, which might be one of my favorites. I had never been to the East Building, which contains a fascinating Matisse exhibit and a sparkly lit walkway between the two Buildings, created by Leo Villareal, and an awesome sculpture by Andy Goldsworthy. I can't believe I had never been to that side of the museum!

Saturday night, we strolled through DuPont Circle and ate an incredible dinner at an Italian resutaurant - one of the best meals we have had in a really long time. After some sleep and breakfast, we spent some time at the newly constructed Martin Luther King, Jr Memorial.

After Mike left, I spent a few days attending my conference and finding yummy delicious food, a very special cupcake, freshly made orange soda with just squeezed OJ, and walking around in the beautiful, sunny weather. I would totally move to DC. I love it!

weekends

2011-10-24T06:37:00.000-05:00

A week ago, Mike, Donna, Michael and I walked a 5K for breast cancer in north Jersey. OK, I didn't exactly make the entire walk (kind of lame) because of my medication feet pain. But it was a beautiful fall day and we walked along a river and it felt great. I even got a medal from the survivor tent!! Oh, yes.

The highlight of this past weekend was Major Italian night at donna's. Eggplant, meatballs, and sunday sauce. I didn't even have time to take a picture because we were all standing around waiting to dig in. Mike was fasting all day. And we got the door prize - the extra tray of eggplant! I love being Italian.

I managed to do a little baking and writing and napping as well, this weekend.

And roasted a whole bunch of farmers' market fall veggies!

new recipe

2011-10-21T15:49:00.001-05:00

I find new recipes on line every day. I have 100's bookmarked and starred in my email inbox. I also have a very nice collection of cookbooks...And some weeks, I never try a new recipe. I want to but for one reason or another, I continue to flag new bites and never actually try most of them. So, I am going to set an intention to try one fun new recipe a week (at least) from blogs or my cookbooks.

This week, I made pumpkin bread, because I love pumpkin. I didn't use my cookbooks or any flagged blog pages, but used a recipe sent from my sister, Amy. It was a yummy bread. I decreased the sugar by half (!), added a few chocolate chips instead of walnuts, and used a mix of whole wheat pastry, whole wheat, and all purpose flours. Yum!

Here is the recipe in case you are in the mood for cranking your oven!

{this moment} - mike's moment actually

2011-10-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

This is actually Mike's moment, yesterday, in Paterson, near his office. Can you believe this is 10 miles from my house?!

{this moment}

2011-10-14T17:47:00.000-05:00

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

weekend things

2011-10-10T07:12:00.000-05:00

It is approaching Sunday evening, and I am totally exhausted. I had a whole meal planned out for tonight, but my energy is zapped. I was thinking about how I bookmark endless new recipes but never get around to them, so I want to start picking one new recipe a week. Dinner was going to include a new one... Then, as I sank into the couch, thinking about making dinner, Mike sang a song about ordering Chinese food. And guess what is on its way?! We did realize though, we haven't ordered Chinese since moving to our new place, which was in May. So we are overdue...and now I can spend what energy I have left on my sewing homework!

additionally, this weekend:

Dinner and a movie Saturday night at Donna's which included chili and all of the fixings you can imagine.

Mums outside and mums in the kitchen!

Sunny, warm weather shining into our home all weekend long

Pumpkins and squash

fall...hair...kitchen...short weekend

2011-09-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

Have I told you what a bummer it is to lose your hair? Some days, it is extremely difficult to deal with it. I think I need an anti-hair loss mantra today...I will try to think one up. In the meantime, the more fun stuff...hobbies, cooking, crafty projects, pumpkins, finishing a 350-page grant that might bring 5 years of funding to my position, and tea with friends!!

{this moment}

2011-09-23T07:13:00.001-05:00

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

(this is obvisouly not from my week, but I am slowly recovering old slides from the 70's and am enjoying this one this week)

tired but grateful

2011-09-20T19:46:00.002-05:00

I always talk about gratefuls...but it helps...Working this past Saturday was difficult, after an extremely busy work week which included getting up at 5am one morning and working until 8 or 9 pm several days, I mean nights. However, I was able to get away and visit 2 farmers markets this week. It had been a whole month without any farmers market visits! That is too long, especially now that we are in serious harvet mode. So, working in my office Saturday was a little better since I was snacking on farmers' treats and had this guy on my desk to make me happy.

When I was walking into the office with my first pumpkin of the season (there will be many more), a friend asked what I was going to do with it. I said I would be placing it on my desk for happy viewing!!

6-day work weeks will be my norm now and indefinately. It is serious dissertation writing time, and the bulk of this writing is going to happen on Saturdays. I will need to find things to make me happy, to get through! I envision treats, special tea, and more pumpkins...Oh, and coming home Saturday night to a home cooked meal by Mike, what a lovely surprise!!

to the kitchen

2011-09-05T10:18:00.000-05:00

after vacation, i always crave some time in my kitchen. eating out is good for only so long. breakfast was in separate segments today, our last day of vacation. first, baked chocolate donuts. here is the recipe, very low sugar and i used even a bit less than called for. just a tiny bit of icing and coconut on top. they were delicious while they were here! i think these will appear in my kitchen again very soon. next, italian toast with homemade peach butter. i used a few recipes as a guide, one from august bon appetit. a lovely article on perserving, take a look. hard boiled eggs to finish it off...coffee and tea throughout. hmm, now it seems to be lunch time...

return to motion

2011-09-04T11:17:00.003-05:00

mike and i took 2 weeks off for vacation. this time included family reunion/60th birthday in cape cod, family visit in chatham, fleeing hurricane irene to the compound in RI, and finally to woodstock. we: whale watched, sat by water falls, looked for sharks at the light house, hiked in the ri pine barrens, sat in a row boat, found turtles, walked on salt marshes, napped, drank lattes, ate dessert several times, ate some more, went to a county fair and watched declan on his first ride by himself, and had two hurricane parties. Irene forced us to quiet down, settle in, unplug, and allowed for some impromtu visiting. we returned home with 2 days left of vacation. i hope this time will help me ease back to work, life, grant writing, dissertation, cleaning the house, and finding time to enjoy the upcoming season.

unplugged

2011-08-30T22:12:00.000-05:00

a lot of bloggers have been 'unplugged' lately...vacation, mindful breaks from the digital world, hurricane irene. i have been a bit unplugged for vacation and because of the hurricane power outages. i must say, it has been a lovely break...more soon.

{this moment}

2011-08-19T06:04:00.001-05:00

Friday again and here is my usual: inspired by SouleMama,

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments to share with me!

seasonal treasures

2011-08-17T07:41:00.002-05:00

awhile ago, i thought i would do a monthly 'treasures' post, but it seems like it is more like a seasonaly posting. that actually makes sense because i do love seasonal things and if i really think about it, i love all seasons. i don't think i have a fav...

anyway, this summer has been passing by, fast as usual. i already bought a mum, not that i am hoping fall will come faster...i just love mums and i am quietly excited for fall!! when i stopped at a little farm stand for some jersey tomatoes, i saw that they had mums out already and grabbed one. then i realized how much i love and enjoy how flowers pop out one at a time all spring, summer, and fall long. i really do love each season and i have been mindfully enjoying nature this year, as i eyed the daffodils, then tulips, then pansies, then roses, irises, gladioli, sunflowers, black eyed susans, zinnias...mums.

some treasures this season:

jersey tomatoes - i know i have talked about them already, but really...they are just amazing. i made this simple, easy and delicious sandwich after helping Jessie at her housewarming. I am going to make them for the 3rd time this week...

cucumbers - my garden was not terrific this year. not a whole lot of time at the beginning because i was writing my dissertation proposal, and then well, the summer just flys by. but the cucumbers are amazing and every time i go, i pick 5-6! i made my first batch of bread and butter pickles last night.

patiently waiting for some solid beach days on vacation - i have barely gotten to the beach this year, but soon enough...

sewing - my new addiction!! thanks melissa, for your wonderful classes this summer!

hosting in our new home - we had a bbq a bit ago, and had friends and their 4 week old baby over recently, and kevin and holly and orion recently.

eating vegetarian this month - it was mike's idea and i love it...i am hoping we might go a little longer.

baking from 'Rustic Fruit"- took it out from the library for the second time, i think i might need to just get it!

another weekend gone and one here

2011-08-13T12:49:00.001-05:00

this week flew by me. i think i have been doing a lot of grant writing and walking around in a bit of a fog...kevin, holly, and orion visited last weekend on their way back from a wedding. since the four of us are doing vegetarian for the month of august, we made yummy, seasonal veggies for dinner together. i also made homemade bubble tea and homemade peach ice cream. i have been loving bubble tea so much lately, but they put SO much sugar in it, so i got the materials to make it at home (less sugary). holly documented our food fabuously here!

luckily, i also had some time to crawl around on the floor, with orion. he is extremely skilled at crawling really fast towards dangerous things.

this weekend...

2011-08-02T10:26:00.000-05:00

we managed to see the ocean for a bit; enjoy tea on the porch at the cottage for an hour of quiet bliss; see all of my siblings except todd, all of my parents and some of my precious nephews; dinner by the sea; and sat on the beach for an hour and watched orion play in the sand! we missed todd, grandma, nana, and one nephew and niece. i must say, it was a short but lovely visit with all in good old ri...

{this moment}

2011-07-29T08:12:00.000-05:00

my friday ritual inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

defended!

2011-07-27T15:14:00.000-05:00

before: preparing...

after: finally, after 10 months of writing, i just successfully defended my dissertation proposal! phew!

now i just have to write the dissertation...

this weekend...

2011-07-25T07:51:00.001-05:00

i have been preparing for my dissertation proposal defense, coming up this week. but i managed to run to the farmers market and cook a little in the kitchen in between studying.

this weekend:

purslane salads- i can't get enough of purslane!
sugar plum ice cream - another farmers' market delight that i can't eat enough of (i think there time is almost up for the season!)
peach pie with spelt flour crust
jersey corn on the cob
jersey tomato sauce and pasta (i could eat this everyday)
sewing errands for my skirt class (my skirt will have blue and white bicylces on it!!)
watching the King's Speech for the second time and wanting to watch it again, already

how was your weekend?

a belated {this moment}

2011-07-24T12:46:00.000-05:00

it is a little late for my usual friday ritual of This Moment. but here was a moment on Friday, when it was 104 degrees = 113 degrees with the heat index. it was hotter here than in arizona...seriously. the construction outside of my office, that has been happening for 2-3 months (really annoying) was finished on the hottest day of the year and then the construction workers (have no idea how they were working in this weather) turned the fire hydrant on, spraying the area of hot workers and pedestrians. not directly spraying, but i got a nice, refreshing, welcome spray as i walked by and snapped my camera.

{this moment}

2011-07-15T19:00:00.004-05:00

It is the friday post, inspired by SouleMama:
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Patient-ly waiting

2011-07-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

You know, I am all about mindfulness and yoga, and living in the moment, and all of that good stuff. But I really don't like this: "If you get lemons, make lemonade." I get it, of course...but I just don't like it. If you spend a ton of money on a used car and it is a lemon, not much you can do. And if you get cancer, well, cancer-ice tea is not happening. I recognize the limited benefits of cancer - parking in front with my handicapped tag, not having to shave my legs due to hair loss, and finding out how amazing your family and friends when you need help. But still - there is no delicious lemonade from all of this. Not even close, so I am not going to pretend to make some.

I was recently at my monthly appointment at my hospital. I see my oncologist, then go to the treatment area for a shot in my stomach (which hurts) and then wait for pharmacy to bring me by drugs. Well, this past visit cost me SEVEN hours of my day. SEVEN. There is only so much 'living in the moment' can do to help when you are stuck in the waiting room for that long. After close to six hours, a group of women started gabbing and it was almost like a support group, but like a really annoying one. Sorry to say this, but you know, it was the "if you get lemons, make lemonade" attitude and oh, the "our fear is worse than the disease." Yikes. Luckily, a nurse who I have now seen monthly for 2 and a half years saw my tortured face, made some calls, and moved me up in the line and got me out. I mean, I had already been there close to 7 hours, but it could have been even longer and with that group of women...So I have another thank you card to make soon for that nurse.

At some point in my waiting, I decided to play with my camera and the mirror in the patient room. A friend of mine has been working on some self-portraits, so I thought I could do something like a self-portrait. It is called:

Patient-ly Waiting.

{this moment}

2011-07-01T08:03:00.000-05:00

As a friday usual, inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

in the kitchen lately

2011-06-25T12:27:00.000-05:00

I have been so busy lately. Work and then writing my dissertation proposal during my time off... Recently, I finally got to bake something in my new kitchen. I can't believe how I dealt with my tiny kitchen before. I made these delicious 'magic muffins' and they are healthy and energizing. Somehow, I used All the space on All of my counters to make them. Besides enjoying the counter space while I cook, I love to sit at our little bench-like table, overlooking our pretty backyard. I can eat here or read the paper or compute! On the weekends, I could literally spend all day in my sunny kitchen!!

In the kitchen lately:

farmers' market fruit ice cream (Peach ice cream and blueberry frozen yogurt)
A lot tabouleh (recent studies found that parsley kicks breast cancers' you know what)
Asian inspired vegetarian meals - one with gluten: Mike's favorite/the meal we had on our first date, back in the summer of 2006! Made these last night.
magic muffins from this lovely magazine
smoothies with berries, yogurt, little cacao, and a handful of CSA red-stemmed spinach!
farmers' market veggie sandwiches - yum - i love the garden state at this time of year - there are no better tomoatoes or blueberries.

{this moment}

2011-06-24T12:57:00.000-05:00

A ritual inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

sunday stills

2011-06-19T15:30:00.000-05:00

Inspired by an old friend from college times...a sunday still life:

A random sunday errand and browsing through old, cheap (musty smelling ) records on the street.

The to-do list always seems so long on the weekends. And then, all of a sudden, it is Monday morning...it is nice to savor the calm, slower moments of the weekend.

{this moment}

2011-06-17T07:33:00.001-05:00

A ritual inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

weekend by the sea

2011-06-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

last weekend was wonderful. a night and day in mystic, by the ocean. another night and day and a half in newport by the ocean. my nephew's first birthday party on the way home!

we went to mystic for a night, to break up the trip and ended up sitting on the porch, staring at the ocean the entire day. my brother made a short visit and we squeezed in a dinner with the parents.

my friend and her husband invited us to spend the weekend in newport, in a family house on the water. they spoiled us and gave us the room with the best view, full of large windows overlooking the ocean. when we went to sleep, the moon was shining down on the water; amazing! it was difficult to close your eyes to go to sleep! farmer's market, delicious lunch, visit from sister in law and nephew, who is crawling all over the place, dinner out, and breakfast by the sea. on the way home, we stopped to celebrate my nephew's first birthday, and got to see just about the whole family. it was a fabulously perfect weekend.

first cupcake!

from my bedroom!

still settling in...

2011-06-09T07:09:00.000-05:00

it took a little longer than i expected to fully unpack and feel set in our new home. my closet is still a mess, and a few spots need more work, but we are just about there. i do love our new kitchen and our backyard is beautiful. i have started my gardening back there. some cucumbers, swiss chard, patio tomato, and some of my favorite flowers. the big garden at nancy's is getting there as well, but slowly...

i have been trying to get back into a routine of yoga and breathing and attempting to get back to those healthy foods. it is difficult sometimes, which the chemo drugs. often, i just want to eat cereal, three meals a day. i am trying to ease back into juicing. the green ones are just too much for my tummy to handle on top of the chemo but this was delicous: watermelon cucumber carrot juice.

wow!

2011-06-08T06:49:00.000-05:00

busy bee lately. work, school, garden, trying to exercise more. oh, and summer is here! more soon...

{this moment}

2011-06-03T07:02:00.001-05:00

A friday ritual inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

settling in

2011-05-26T14:05:00.001-05:00

we moved almost two weeks ago. we had amazing help from family and friends. Seriously Amazing Help. it totally wore me out and it took awhile for my energy to bounce back. we still have more settling to do....and a lot of gardening needs to happen...and so on...but seneca is finally comfortable in the new place. and i just walked into our new backyard and realized the rose garden just bloomed!

{this moment}

2011-05-20T07:25:00.000-05:00

it has been a long week...

Inspired by SouleMama,

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Outside my office window, 5th floor, making a nest

{this moment}

2011-05-06T11:17:00.001-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

power songs

2011-05-06T06:37:00.000-05:00

I just realized that there are very specific power songs that symbolize milestones or big challenges in my recent life. I don't typically listen to music when I work or write. But I find when I am trying to accomplish something 'big' that I do listen to certain songs. When I was studying for my qualifying exams, I would listen to the the Monitor (bishop allen) everytime I got to the library to start studying. While I listened and prepared for a full day of quiet studying, I would search the internet about the ship and battles of the Monitor. As the day flew by, I would sit in the library all day and anytime my mind started to wander, I would throw my headphones back on and listen to the song again. While it was a little bit of torture studying for those exams, when I hear that song, it is a nice memory.

I remember listening to the entire album, Mermaid Avenue, by Billy Bragg & Wilco, as I would walk to classes or to the library. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I listend to Home (David Byrne) over and over and over. I also made a "walk and heal" playlist that I would listen to, on my walk from the parking lot to my office.

Lately, as I am trying to write and finish my dissertation proposal, I have listened to Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels), and Halflight I and II, all by Arcade Fire, a thousand times (give or take a few).

It is funny, Mike listens to music during 95% of his day. When I work at home, 9 hours can go by with no music but he walks in and before taking his jacket off, his iPod is plugged in and continuing the song that was playing in the car. Music is important to me, just in different, signficant, powerful doses.

Do you have any power songs?

finally, in the garden

2011-05-03T08:11:00.000-05:00

the weather has been so terrible lately that it hasn't been possible to garden yet. plus, i have been working 6 - 6.5 days a week due to the extra time for the dissertation writing. but today, i snuck in a few hours for the garden. it was lovely out, sunny and the perfect temperature. ginger mint, chocolate mint, lemon balm, and thyme are growing back from seasons past. i spent most of the day fixing the fence that keeps out the bunnies. and i did start turning over the soil and pulling out the weeds in one area. i hope to get peas in soon.

first area to weed/turn over the soil, for peas

i am not sure i have introduced the garden at nancy's house. i must have...i will have to look back. nancy is my cousin through marriage (once removed maybe?) and she lives across town. ever since i moved to town, nancy has let me garden in her amazing yard. we actually garden where her dad used to garden, when she was little! the yard is a lovely natureland, beautiful and peaceful. and it is the best medicine/therapy to work there! thanks nancy!

last weekend, nancy and i walked around her yard to enjoy the beauty of spring. nancy's yard is a: Certified Wildlife Habitat - is a place that welcomes birds, butterflies and other local wildlife. All you need to do is provide the four elements animals need most: food, water, shelter and places to raise young.

near the garden plot

the goldfish pond

in the butterful and daffodil garden

after gardening, i treated myself to vegan hemp chocolate ice cream from down the street, it was awesome!

yum

2011-05-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

mike left early for golf, and i spent all morning drinking tea and eating easter bread toast!

the bread

2011-04-30T16:16:00.000-05:00

I have a funny feeling towards Easter, just doesn't seem to be a big holiday for me...Except: for the easter bread. Sometimes, the easter bread happens at the cape, but I usually manage to get at least a half loaf delivered and then I savor it for breakfast. (I might have even hide it from Mike in the past. Shhhh.) It is a family tradition. My nana used to make it and now donna tends to do it. SO delicious. I don't know how others do it, but, our bread - is light and flaky and a little sweet. Toast it up and a little butter. It takes a day and a half to make (rising 2 times, etc) and there is a lot of kneading involved, and it is so amazingly tasty. A whole lot of love goes into this bread.

This year, one week later than easter, Donna made the dough and we helped with the kneading this morning. We should have 3 loaves baked and ready to be savored, later tonight/tomorrow. I can't wait. Seriously. When I bite into it, I may even say "I love easter" just because of this bread.

will and the master bread maker (donna)

rising for the 2nd time in slightly warm oven

moving?!

2011-04-29T08:44:00.001-05:00

i drove down the main street of my town today, expecting to see the wonderful, white, blooming trees again. just like that, all of the white is gone. it was just amazing but seemed to last for just for a minute. new beautiful things are popping up all over though, like these lovies:

mike and i are going to move soon, across the street! literally! i could throw a stone at my new bedroom window from my current front door! long story short - we are seeking peace, quiet, help from a dish washer, and less clutter. i think this place will give us all four and more...we shall see.

i think it will be fun to have a change in our home. and at least i can enjoy my neighborhood, which will stay the same. i am happy about that. just look at it!

around the corner

i love this tree next door

seneca will still have two parks around the corner!

this park has this lovely patch of tulips

bbq/moving party to be announced!

this weekend...

2011-04-25T07:13:00.000-05:00

SouleMama listed 10 simple lovely things today to be grateful for, to start the week...one of my favorite things - 'gratefuls' list!

list created with office friends, before it gets taken down

This weekend was a little wild. I worked all Saturday on my dissertation, which meant only one day off. We also had to talk about moving all weekend because of a new apartment opportunity. Literally across the street! So we had to make a pros and cons list, do some meauring in the new place, talk, talk, talk, think about it...we are going to talk to the landlord today. Unfortunately, our town has high demand so when opportunities come up, the decisions must be made fast, so we need to decide today. Some of the simple things this weekend, for which I am grateful:

Homemade breakdfast of Apple german 'dutch baby' and Delicious oranges
non-easter spaghetti and meatballs with family
Completed (decent) conference abstract days before deadline
A few minutes of community art
Dreaming of new space for meditation
Ending phone tag with Amy!

spring colors

2011-04-19T16:56:00.000-05:00

I have come dangerously close to a car accident or two recently because of all the gorgeous flowers popping up around town lately. I can't help looking. I can't take a photo to properly capture the beauty. It is everyway! All the way downtown, there are blossoming white trees; white, yellow, and orange daffodils ALL over; red tulips on their way; and pink flowering trees everywhere. There are some seriously gorgeous yards around, one of the many reasons I love living where we do.

Mike and I caught the end of the cherry blossoms at a park a few miles down the road from us. It was very grey out and cold, but it was so pretty!

Here are my daffodils, bulbs planted last fall.

{this moment}

2011-04-15T06:16:00.001-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama,

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

vacay, dominican style

2011-04-12T20:18:00.001-05:00

Mike and I just got back from a wonderful trip to the Dominican Republic. A vacation was seriously in order for us. I got to see Rich, and meet his lovely wife and beautiful two little ones. And I got to meet John for the first time. These are Mike's good buddies from college. They treated us VIP style, staying in their town a few nights and then Mike and I had some serious chill time, resort style. It was sunny everyday and the water was bright turquoise and it was nice and hot. I loved every second (except for the painful sunburn!) and would like to go back as soon as possible. No really, we are going back asap...

fresh coconut water

turquoise water every day

dinner date

from our 'tree sun house'

mike, in the mangroves

the love birds

ahhhh

daffodils

2011-03-31T17:24:00.000-05:00

Since the winter, I started cutting down this side road on the way to work, in order to avoid a light near my house that is in front of a school. When I didn't cut down this side road, I would sit with the crossing guards and wait and wait and wait. The other day, on the side road, I realized that snow was gone and this house had an entire yard full of popping daffodils! Another few days and it will be gorgeous! I love it!

march memories

2011-03-22T17:25:00.004-05:00

March...lucky for me, my husband was born this month! I also think of Italy in March. My first and only (so far) trip to Italy was in March, 2007. It was a fantastic and memorable adventure, with Mike, Kevin, and Holly. It was just one of those trips that will never be beat, leaving behind vivid memories. In March 2008, Mike swept me off my feet in Philadelphia and proposed to me after I saw an amazing Frida exhibit. A long day, I remember every hour of it!

March is also a nice transition for me. This month makes me realize that I do love the four seasons so much. I loved our winter wonderland this past winter and seeing my daffodils pop up this week is getting me excited for spring and all the lovely things that come along with spring...then summer...I really don't think I have a favorite. They all bring wonder to my everyday!

{this moment}

2011-03-18T06:56:00.000-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama:

happy st patti's day

2011-03-17T19:29:00.000-05:00

i was home sick today with a bad cold. anyone else? it seems like everyone is sick. mike took me to my monthly appointment with the oncologist this morning and we borrowed an iPad while we waited. it passed the time quickly. and now we want our own iPad. i am too sick to cook tonight so i will settle for gyspy cold tea and irish soda bread. (cheers, whole foods for selling a nice organic soda bread.)

emotions

2011-03-15T07:12:00.003-05:00

I have been quietly feeling my emotions and looking at the awfulness going on in Japan over these last few days. I just can't even begin to figure out how it must be to live in the nightmare that is happening. I am mostly speechless about it. I did find a list of things to do, so I figured I would post it here...unfortunately, it appears that the only thing to do is send money, which just doesn't seem to be enough...

Ways to help...
UPDATE - another idea to help - bake sales. maybe i will try to organize one...

march, on the weekends

2011-03-13T16:37:00.001-05:00

lately, i have designated saturdays and two nights a week as dissertation time. 6 long days a week is tiring. funny, though, this week was so productive, both at work and on my dissertation and it felt great!

last weekend, amy, todd, declan, and nolan came to the garden state to visit us. we had a lovely time, catching up and eating.

cardamom pound cake, recipe from jessie

sweet nolan before bed

This weekend, after working all day on Saturday, I had a huge list to get through for Sunday. It didn't all happen, but I:
- enjoyed the morning light in my kitchen while I made a Dutch Baby;

- took out the ice cream maker (chocolate mint ice cream for dinner down the street at my auntie's;

post-op, not happy about conehead

- and almost finished a crazy, intriguing article in the New Yorker on a guy who left the Church of Scientology (wild stuff!)

our little lady

2011-03-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

miss seneca had surgery today. she is due home in a few hours. it will probably be a rough recovery for a week or so. but we are counting on a full recovery asap!

late winter treasures

2011-02-27T11:48:00.000-05:00

I forgot about my idea (about 2 years ago!) to post about monthly 'treasures' so I thought I would do one for this month.

I am still trying to find my way back to self-time to take care of body and mind - meditation, mindfulness, and even just writing a bit in my journal. One of my goals for 2011 is to create an alter near my meditation space so that I have special things nearby that might draw me more frequently to sit on my meditation pillow. When I was thinking about posting about present treasures 2 years ago, I was practicing mindfulness both formally, through dedicated meditation time, and also just during everyday moments. It takes work to do this and somehow, I have fallen out of this work lately. Partly, I think it is because I have been in my brain so much lately, going from researching at work to researching for my dissertation. When I get home, my head is so foggy that I can hardly do anything. I do knit and there is a sweet mindfulness element in that. My mood feels calm, and that is wonderful, and maybe I am being more mindful than I am giving myself credit...I am just noticing it for now...

Treasures lately:

lovely visit from jessie, including her yummy almost vegan cooking

cooking vegetarian chinese with my niece, who is an excellent cook!

playing with seneca in the beautiful whiteness

munchkins and there funny expressions!

random, quick snow

2011-02-23T08:26:00.000-05:00

last weekend, our front lawn was showing. the snow had melted completely and seneca was having fun with all the sticks that had been buried by the snow. i woke up at 6am on monday and it started snowing. at 8, when i went out to find my car, about 5 inches of snow had fallen. the sky cleared and there was all of this pretty, random snow in the trees. i clicked a few shots with my phone as i drove down our street, to go to work.

i think a little more of this wonderful, pretty whiteness will be fine with me. then, i will throw myself into spring, gardening, ocean viewing...

this weekend...

2011-02-20T18:15:00.000-05:00

Making my first batch of kombucha - thanks to holly, she supplied the scobbie and the directions

Reading about Julia Child and enjoying it immensely; also reading Proposals that Work (not as enjoyable)

Enjoying a share of organic fruits and veggies

Making protein snacks

A little knitting; hats for new baby girls

Baking currant scones and carrot cake (no frosting) - using some yummy peach carrots

veggies make me happy

2011-02-19T11:49:00.000-05:00

Last summer, I became a member of a CSA in my town. This was my first CSA (community supported agriculture) experience and I absolutely loved the experience and being apart of the movement/farm! My town's CSA has been in existence for just over 10 years and we work with an organic farmer about an hour away. The vegetables come in from June - November.

It was sad when our last delivery week came and went in late November. Somehow, I recently got on a list for Purple Dragon, a organic veggie co-op type group. It is not quite a CSA because they don't invest with just one farmer for a season. Rather, it is a group of families, working together to buy organic food through various farmers all year long, and in the end, it is more affordable and they are supporting small farmers. During the winter months, the food in not as local. However, the food is always organic and local whenever possible. I have been put on a list to receive a share when their deliveries have extras.

Today, I went for my second share pick up. Just a town over, a few miles from my house, I walked into the backyard, equipped with the garage door security code. Inside the garage, about 25 green bins, a clipboard, and directions. I emptied out my designated bin into my bags, left my check, and closed the garage door. There was something sweet about the process. Even though I didn't actually interact with anyone, I was part of a movement with like-minded people and I liked it a lot! Getting organic veggies in a way that supports each other, farmers, and the environment...makes me so happy!

Sweet potatoes, turnips, broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, tomatoes, peach carrots, bananas, blueberries, apples, grapefruits, collard greens, lettuce...oh my.

{this moment}

2011-02-18T16:56:00.000-05:00

Fridays inspired by SouleMama:
{this moment- A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.}

Photo taken by dad.

impromptu pizza party

2011-02-17T17:14:00.001-05:00

On the way home from RI, we decided to stop off and visit with my bro and his little family. This led to an impromptu pizza party before we headed back to the Jerz. Kevin and Mike were in the kitchen with the oven at 450. It wasn't quite like our pizza party in Italy. For instance, we weren't on vacation near an olive grove and beautiful water, and ready to explore the heel of the boot. But the pizza and family time was 'awesome' (as they say in RI). It took my mind off my impending root canal!

My nephew, Orion, is in an adorable phase...sitting up all by himself and eating smashed up stuff and laughing out loud a lot! I fed him some pears and I laughed at each bite. He has a lot of faces, all precious. I almost ate one of his cheeks! They are difficult to resist! There is seriously nothing like a baby's laugh out loud. LOL! Nothing as sweet!

You have to wait for the laugh, but it happens. Orion was actually laughing at a photo of himself up on the huge Mac computer screen. Apparently, he thought his photo was amusing.

more dark chocolate

2011-02-07T11:23:00.000-05:00

Donna made this amazingly fancy raspberry tart with 4 or so different layers!

I don't have the slightest interest in football or superbowl games, but I enjoy the gatherings that tend to happen around me. This year, we ended up down the street at Auntie Donna's. I think she cooked for days! The peace tart was only the end to a delicious meal.

mexican chocolate fudge

2011-02-06T14:24:00.000-05:00

dark chocolate gives us energy right??

Dark Chocolate Fudge with cinnamon and cayenne pepper

{this moment}

2011-02-04T08:09:00.002-05:00

Fridays inspired by SouleMama:
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

i think i can...i think i can

2011-02-01T08:12:00.000-05:00

My thinking brain has been focused on my dissertation when I am not working. As a result, I still haven't sat down and contemplated my intentions for 2011. I guess my downtime has just been a little less than productive. I did buy a new book, Crazy Sexy Diet, which has gotten a ton of press lately. The author has stage 4 cancer, a very rare cancer, and has been stable for 8 or so years, so she is a nice reminder that stable is good, no, Great!

I was looking through the book and felt inspired to try a green smoothie. I have read a lot about green smoothies and juicing. I used to juice all the time but at the moment, juicing does not agree with my chemo meds so I think smoothies are a little more tolerable. I made one this weekend and it was quite delicious.

I have fallen off the 'kick cancer's ass' diet lately...just a little. I have been a little more 'flexible' with snacking out - mainly with white flours and sugar. Maybe it is the winter and the lack of farm fresh veggies? I try to bake whole grains at home, with less sugar and no white flour. But I don't always have time lately. Then, I am at work and it is 3 o'clock and I am tired and I crave a baked good and I don't have a homemade one from home. Starbucks is right there, outside my office building and across the street...marble pound calls my name...

So anyway, back to an intention...they say green smoothies (and juicing) really helps with energy. Since I am working, writing a dissertation, and trying to celebrate life and stable cancer with Mike, one of my intentions this year is to try to find healthy ways to naturally increase my energy. I will start with trying out some green smoothies for breakfast!

Here is one recipe in case you want to experiment!

baking with whole-grain flours

2011-01-30T12:07:00.000-05:00

I have done a lot of experimenting with whole grain flours in my baking. I have made some delicious things. However, it is not always successful. Sometimes, the flavor is delicious but the texture can be 'funny'/bad. There are some recipes I have tried 3 or 4 times before getting it right and sometimes, I just have to add in a 1/4 of a cup of the (bad) white flour...

This wonderful book has helped me a lot!

It is organized by type of whole grain flour for each chapter. I actually haven't tried the exact recipes from the 'amaranth' chapter yet but I put some in chocolate chip cookies recently. Seriously, they were the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever tried. Mike agrees. I do love the whole grain amaranth, I mix it with millet or quinoa and it is yummy, but now, I want to put amaranth flour in everything!

From the cookbook, I have made spelt carrot muffins, barley strawberry scones, spelt currant scones (we like our scones here), and a few things with buckwheat. I can't wait to try the chocolate persimmon muffins when persimmons are in season next. The beet and quinoa pancakes sound amazing. Ginger peach muffins with oat flour?! I am making corn flour and gruyere muffins tonight...

A lovely, delicious book, and the photos are beautiful.

school

2011-01-26T15:36:00.001-05:00

Did i tell you i was back at school again? yes...after a 2 year break, i am back. this is my second semester back! of course, it seems like i am always in school. i came to the RU campus in 2000 and never left. between work and 2 graduate programs, i have been there ever since. i do love it. the work and the school. last semester, i brought back about 20 books to the library (my old dissertation topic) and hung out in the stacks getting 20 or so new books (on my new dissertation topic).

picnik formatting into Polaroid

i am in the stage of the doctoral program in which i am really working on my own except for meeting with my chair from time to time. it is a difficult stage for me, without the structure. i loved when i was in classes, and i had exams and papers due on exact days...now it is all up to me and my energy, motivation, and focus. working full time and fighting cancer impacts all of that, but i actually have more written for my proposal then i have ever in the past!! so i am staying positive here and enjoying it. i am trying to concentrate on the dissertation without getting extremely overwhelmed (tricky business!). my friends/peers are helping me feel motivated too - thanks guys!!

snowy campus; Kaimal Mark II lens, Alfred Infrared 'film'

Kaimal Mark II lens, BlacKeys Supergrain 'film'

more snow!

2011-01-23T11:48:00.001-05:00

I am enjoying the pretty, snowy, sunny days. Before I know it, my snowy thoughts will be left in the dust and I will be constantly scheming ways to see the ocean in the warm weather. It is funny how much I love the individual seasons equally. More snow on its way??

Libby's photo shoot

It is very cold this weekend but the sun and snow are bright. Libby came to visit us. Even though it was only 13 degrees outside, we went up to Eagle Rock to see the snow and the city. There were only a few other cars at the park on the hill, but the people were viewing from within the heated cars.

Mike, giving an urban city lecture despite low temperatures

the city, out there

social work research, Dali, and CAKE

2011-01-19T10:46:00.000-05:00

not necessarily in that order...donna and i went to florida to attend a conference. we squeezed in some fun between sessions of learning!

we stumbled across a national historic landmark and museum, the henry b. plant museum. when we saw the sign, i was thinking actual plants...but instead it was a historic landmark, the restored and preserved rooms of a once victorian hotel with worldly treasures from the late 1800's. it was so fun to explore.

social work social work social work research research research...then another break, this time, an intentional mission to Dali and CAKE. we hoped over to St. Pete's and went to the newly renovated Dali museum (Dali is one of my favs) and then went to the Jannus Landing and danced to CAKE. come on, Dali and CAKE in one day? pretty awesome.

{this moment}

2011-01-14T16:02:00.001-05:00

Inspirited weekly by SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

snow, 2011

2011-01-10T12:06:00.000-05:00

I haven't had any quiet time yet for thinking about my intentions for this new year...I guess that should be one goal - more quiet time for writing and reflecting...I will get to them when I am ready. This weekend would have been the perfect time but somehow, it just flew by...we had some snow on Friday, Saturday was grey, windy, and cold. Sunday was sunny and the snow looked beautiful. We slowly took down the christmas tree. Winter is wondrous...it may be grey some days, but the sunny, snowy days are worth it!

Seneca...using BlacKeys Super Grain film, Hipstamatic

Seneca had lots of fun at the park today!

Mike had fun too!

Last shot of Christmas Tree 2010...Alfred Infrared Film...Hipstamatic App

{this moment}...SNOW!

2011-01-07T13:58:00.001-05:00

A post inspired by SouleMama:

"{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

ps. i am very excited for the first snow of 2011.

my intentions for 2011

2011-01-02T09:29:00.000-05:00

A long time ago, my friend Jessie and I started brainstorming, drawing, and writing out our goals for each new year. There were not exactly resolutions, but more like goals from a strengths perspective and there were several different categories for which to fit each goal. We started doing this over 10 years ago! (Can you believe that, Jessie??) Sometimes, we worked at a tea house, or we discussed it over the phone, west coast to east coast, and once we brainstormed on a plane. I have introduced my friend Laura to this new year's ritual as well (in Mexico right??). Some years, I create a visual work with my goals and hang it somewhere so that I can glance at it often throughout the year. Sometimes, Jessie and I send monthly postcard updates on how we were doing with our goals.

It is about this time, that I look at last years' goals and start thinking about the new year. Last year, I wrote about going into my second year of living with cancer and how that impacted my goals. Now, that it has been 2 full years of living with cancer, I am thinking of how I will enjoy and live my third year with happiness despite this awful disease. I guess time does really help, because each year gets a tiny bit easier. I will always have really bad days but the everyday is much easier than it was last year and WAY easier than it was going starting that first year. Phew!

So I am off to brainstorm for 2011. Maybe I will post a few things I come up with here!

before the end of 2010

2010-12-31T14:30:00.001-05:00

I want to reflect on this year and think about the opportunities to come in 2011. But before I do that, I needed to try a go at making homemade cinnamon buns. Who doesn't like that can of buns with icing?? When Whole Foods recently started selling a "natural" brand of cinnamon buns in a can in their cold isle, I forgot all about my 'health' diet and brought them home for breakfast. They are delicious...but even the whole foods version still has a lot of crap in it.

So...I wanted to try making my own. Yes, there is sugar, but at least, there is not crap that has names we don't like and I made them half whole grain...so a tiny bit healthier.

After a few more minutes in the oven, I will soon enjoy the rest of 2010 with a nice cup of tea and homemade cinnamon buns. I used the recipe posted on 101 Cookbooks. As suggested by this recipe, there is a whole batch in my freezer for later. So maybe if a few of those family members who live far away in RI will come around to a visit Montclair soon, they will get to enjoy the homemade goodness.

But, hurry, because Mike and I may thaw these babies out real soon...

christmas 2010

2010-12-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

We just got back to New Jersey, which is full of snow. We spent several days in RI, celebrating Christmas with a whole bunch of family! It was a wonderful holiday, filled with quality family time, delicious food, and lots of snow!

I did't take too many photos and most consisted of cute niece or nephews. Sorry, they steal the show!

{this moment}

2010-12-17T07:58:00.001-05:00

A post inspired by SouleMama:
"{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

gratitude

2010-11-24T10:04:00.000-05:00

My office mates/friends and I started something a few months ago in our office. I think it started on a stressful day of work for one of us, and my friend asked, "well, what are you grateful for?" We started a list of 'gratefuls' on the side of our white board. When the moment strikes, someone in the office will add something to the list that they are feeling particularly grateful for. Sometimes, if someone is having a stressful day, that is when we encourage a thought of gratitude. Outsiders have commented on the list, with wonder. It has been a fun practice these last few months and we have a nice long list of great things of life. It is genuine and also something that I learn and re-learn when I am practicing yoga and meditation. I find that feeling gratitude for the moment is easy sometimes, and not so easy other times. It feels natural when practicing yoga, it is integral to the process. It is not always easy for me to enjoy the moment, gently, and feel gratitude when I am in the middle of doing 50 different things at work/home/life in general.

This week, for thanksgiving, I am thinking of many things for which I am so grateful. I hope to enjoy the moments this holiday weekend slowly and gently, with family, and feel the gratitude. Enjoy your holiday, too!

I always feel gratitude when I am near the ocean...

two years, moment by moment

2010-11-23T09:57:00.001-05:00

I can't believe two years have past since our wedding day. I remember the moments leading up to our wedding day so clearly. There were all the things I learned about my soulmate and all the things that I fell in love with. Then there was the moment Mike proposed to me, the surprise and joy of that moment, and the realization that we would be married partners...something that we both thought of very early on in our relationship, and it was finally going to happen. I enjoyed planning our wedding so very much. I was never one of those girls who dreamed of the big white dress, etc. but I loved planning our wedding together. Just loved it. And now, it has been two years since our wonderful day. I continue to fall in love, moment by moment.

Mike wins the prize for "the very best husband." We were handed quite a challenge for our early years of married life. No problem, right Mike? Seriously, I found the absolute best life partner. Mike is by my side every step and he makes me laugh the entire way.

Two full and wonderful years of married life with my beloved! I love you, Babe!

here is our bagel place, babe.

This photo was taken outside our room, the morning of our wedding. It was sunny (a bit chilly) and beautiful.

Just married!

raining yellow!

2010-11-16T15:28:00.003-05:00

It is a little rainy and a little chilly today. This morning, I was walking the dog and rounded a corner and it was literally raining yellow leaves ahead of me. This beautiful tree was shedding its yellow leaves, they were just dropping down like big snowflakes or raindrops and blowing into the oncoming traffic. It was a wonderful moment. Seneca did not understand why we were just standing there and not going into the park.

This red tree...ahhh, it is right outside my home office window and is just spectacular. Every time I leave the house or work from home, I give this tree some serious glances, and just think to myself "it is just so red! It is so beautiful!"

It seems impossibly beautiful! The red will be gone before you know it...

visit to a farm

2010-11-02T08:33:00.003-05:00

We got to visit Blue Hill Farm recently. Oh what fun!! Just perfect...

{this moment}

2010-10-28T22:21:00.003-05:00

Inspired by SouleMama: {this moment - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.}

storm king, pretty leaves

2010-10-19T14:51:00.006-05:00

We visited Storm King a few weekends ago and I am still thinking about how cool it is!! SO COOL. It was a ton of fun. It is an outdoor sculpture museum where nature is just as important as the sculptures. 500 acres of land, hills, ponds, mountains in the background. We rented bikes because Mike is sweet and was worried about my feet pain (a side effect from my medicine). We rode all around and enjoyed the leaves changing and the sculptures all around us and even fit in a little picnic. I highly recommend the trip. I think we will be visiting it again!
Here is a tiny peak...

Andy Goldsworthy created this wall, it goes under the pond and back up again and then swirls around trees!

{this moment}

2010-10-15T05:32:00.002-05:00

last days of summer

2010-09-28T16:20:00.005-05:00

We had some special time in Asbury Park this month. It was a lovely way to finish out the last days of summer. (Whoever knocks new jersey, hasn't spent enough time exploring the beautiful areas.) Shane and I did a bunch of sun salutations on the board walk. Many evening walks on the board walk and just simply watching the waves. I worked during the week, but it still felt like a vacation.

change

2010-09-23T14:24:00.006-05:00

Instead of being sad, I am trying to channel my gratitude for the last few years, being only 20 miles (yet sometimes 2 hours!) away from Kevin and Holly and then Orion. It has been a good run.

I recently found a card with a picture of orange colored leaves. It says

{A cloaked woman came to me one misty evening and whispered behind me "the only thing you can count on in this world is change." I stood there all night and watched the autumn fog lift.}

I bought the card, thinking I would send it to Kevin. But then, I realized I needed it!

{this moment}

2010-09-18T16:07:00.004-05:00

rest of Aug and beginning 'new year'

2010-09-06T14:11:00.004-05:00

The Fall semester started this past week. We tend to say "happy new year" to each other at this time in early september. August turned out to be a wonderful month. Mike and I took a week off, stay/borrow-family-beach houses - cation, Cape Cod and Mystic. I got some good ocean starting time in. Declan turned three and I got to see all of the other nephews and my niece a bit this month. So many of them now!

I always say it and will say it again, I love fall, and this time of new semesters and new weather. My grandma always says "the sun is like diamonds on the water at this time of year." I already made apple crisp and planted a mum! AND I am officially a student again...

this moment

2010-08-27T07:07:00.003-05:00

Inspired by the lovely SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Happy Almost Weekend!